Feal the Fear.... (and run away)

Right, I think I may have finally finished a passable draft of my Vintage chapter to send out to John. I still don't think I have that 'academic' voice down; a feeling of crushing doubt when I try to daub some kind of methodology is screamingly obvious from the page. Lindsay's comments really helped, although when she was a bit worried about my lack of response, I did worry that she thought it was poo! Oh, the swings and roundabouts. At least I am finally thinking 'ah so what' about someone reading my stuff now. Paf.
I have also been rather naughty not chasing Gina up about the comments on my last draft. I have made so many changes though that it is kind of redundant. I day-dreamed she was going to my old Head of School demanding my hands be chopped off so I could never write again - always think of the worst, then you'll be pleasantly surprised....
Anyway aside from the wittering and stabs of doom, the Fear is somewhat diminished. I can see a version of my life where I scoot away from academic work with my tail between my legs and I can see one where I am the queen of everything and am always right. I suspect the two will both happen from time to time.
Tomorrow I start my new job as an Academic Research Officer - another chance to feel a bit out of my depth. I have been nice and safe for six years and now into the unknown.. I won't run away though, I will do it any way.